- From Transmetropolitan #4

…Because an authority figure being caught in a compromising position is never not a good thing.

- Ian

- From Transmetropolitan #3

I’m totally going to use that quote  as the title for my Masters dissertation.

- Ian

I’m definitely going to be writing something substantial about it in the near future, but for the time being, I’d like to welcome you to the first in what will undoubtedly be a very long series presenting the mighty Spider Jerusalem just generally being awesome.

Take it away, Spider.

- From Transmetropolitan #2

I want to be Spider Jerusalem, you guys.

- Ian

The unlikely subject matter aside, what struck me about this panel is how un-evil Luthor looks. Considering he’s just murdered the greatest hero the world has ever seen, he looks more like he’s just beaten his little brother on Mario Kart.

Lex Luthor: the friendliest supervillain.

Oh, and don’t worry, it’s just an imaginary story, like.

- Ian

The possibilities for this are quite exciting; imagine, if you will, that a short featuring Captain Britain plays in front of The Avengers in 2012. This could drum up interest in a full length Captain Britain and MI13 movie. Get Paul Cornell to write it and I’m sold.

Likewise, and maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself here, but if there’s a Nova short in the front of Iron Man 3,  non-comics readers are going to become aware of similar less mainstream characters, maybe, dare I say it, increasing sales of low-selling books.

It’ll also be a fun way to spotlight some of the background characters who’ve already appeared in some of the other movies (an adventure with The Warriors Three? Yes please!), or even do more offbeat features which might not work over a full feature-length. Yeah, I’m thinking Nextwave…

Also, it’ll be a great way of building up a large group of characters aside from the “big guns” in the Marvel Movie Universe for the inevitable Secret Wars/Civil War/Infinity Gauntlet movie.

Ok, I admit it, I just want to see Iron Fist on the big screen. Make it happen, Marvel!

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In other “news”, I’m currently in the process of re-reading the entirety of Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente’s The Incredible Hercules. It still rocks.

Tell ‘em Herc.

- Ian

Looking at that splash, I can’t help but feel that some of characters picked out for a do-over are somewhat odd choices (although Batman is getting a whole series dedicated to his return, of course), so with that in mind, let’s have a look at the Shocking Resurrections!, one by one:

Max Lord (although it looks nothing like him).

As much as I love the Justice League International era, I was never too comfortable with Max’s descent into full-blown villainy; I felt he worked much better as a slimy figure who always seemed to straddle the moral line, and the sight of him blowing Ted Kord’s brains out always seemed a little jarring to me. His return, therefore, struck me as a good opportunity to return to this portrayal. Then, of course, the first thing he does following his return is use his mind-powers on Guy Gardener. It looks like we’re going to be treated to Geoff Johns-branded eeevil Max again. Ho-hum.

The Reverse Flash.

I didn’t even know he was dead. How about that.

Hawk (apparently).

Nope. Didn’t know he was dead either. The only thing I’ve ever seen him in is Justice League Unlimited, so I can’t say I have any strong feelings either way regarding his return. His costume is lame, however.

Jade.

Jade’s a character who I feel works much better as the obligatory “dead loved one” for Alan Scott and Kyle Rayner (Women in refrigerators arguments aside). Despite my affinity for the Green Lantern books in general, I’ve never found her to be a very interesting character. The only purpose I can see her resurrection serving is to create a tiresome love triangle between her, Kyle and whats-her-name.

Captain Boomerang.

Captain. Boomerang. The deeply unfunny comedy Australian Flash villain who was so lame he was killed by Robin’s dad. Did Geoff Johns run out of characters to resurrect or something? Geez…

Firestorm.

I have nothing against this guy, but I’ve never been able to get over how ridiculous he looks. The nobility of his death in Identity Crisis has also now been completely nullified, but that’s never stopped DC before (see: Barry Allen, Hal Jordan, Ollie Queen, Connor Kent, Supergirl, etc, etc, etc).

J’onn J’onzz, the Martian Manhunter.

Nope, can’t fault this. Good to have you back big guy. Also pleased to see he’s back to his round head look instead of the wierd pointy one he had for a while.

Aquaman.

This is hardly a surprise as his return has been teased from the moment he kicked the bucket. That said, I’m not sure I can see the point of bringing him back unless a writer can come up with a good take on him, and it’s well-known how difficult comic writers find to make him interesting. The only time I’ve ever been even slightly interested in him was during his beardy, one-handed era in the late ’90s.

Besides, I’ve been completely unable to take Aquaman seriously since Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier’s take on him on SModcast:

]

Hawkman & Hawkgirl.

Hang on, weren’t they just killed off? I understand what Geoff Johns was trying to achieve by killing them at the start of Blackest Night, but bringing them back at the end of the same story removes any dramatic impact that thier scene in Blackest Night #1 once had. I would have thought that, as a storyteller, Geoff Johns would understand how cheap this seems. Interesting that their magic maces were resurrected along with them, too.

Deadman.

The dude who’s whole deal is that he’s dead? I suppose there’s story potential there, but still…

Osiris.

Or, the guy who was introduced and killed off within the space of a year, and whose sole narrative purpose was to be killed off (by a talking crocodile) in order to give Black Adam a reason to be really cross. Forgive me if I don’t consider this to be the most shocking resurrection since Jesus.

And with that, we have witnessed the complete obliteration of the value of death as a plot point in comics. Even Captain-bloody-Boomerang is back. Nice work Geoff Johns.

Also, Osiris is back while Ted Kord is still pushing up the daisies? There’s no justice.

-Ian

You’ll understand then, that I’m pretty displeased that issue #25 was, rather abruptly, the final freaking issue.

Yes, we are getting a cosmic crossover for the next six months or so starring everyone’s favourite Mad Titan, which will feature the guardians, but after that, who knows?

Guardians of the Galaxy was the one book every month that I was actively excited to read, and no amounts of Return of Bruce Waynes or SHIELDs can soften this blow.

It is a dark day indeed.

- Ian

In a nutshell; it was a lot of fun, but it wasn’t exceptional.

The main problem the film had was the pacing; everything in the last 30 minutes was fantastic (although the Japanese garden oasis-dome thing was a little odd), but most of what preceded it was a little dull. On top of this, large chunks of the plot seemed largely superfluous, from the appearance of Agent Coulson and Nick Fury, who wasn’t even introduced to new viewers, to the bizarre semi-heroic, semi-comedic role of Happy Hogan.

Iron Man 2 also suffered from the notorious “sagging middle act” problem that so many action films do, making us suffer through scenes which could just have easily played out off-camera such as Tony making his very own Hadron Collider, to a truly painful and drawn out boardroom dialogue between Tony and Pepper. Also, one apparently crucial sub-plot was discarded almost without any comment once we had the inevitable “hero pulls himself together” moment.

The film also suffered a similar problem to its predecessor, in that Mickey Rourke as the Big Bad was much more interesting as a villain when he wasn’t stomping around with his big electric whip-things, so when he did suit up I largely lost interest in him as a character.

All this said, once all hell inevitably breaks loose in the final act, the film becomes everything the first hour and half should have been, with visually awesome action, high stakes (even though I never quite believed the Hammer Drones as a genuine threat in any respect apart from their sheer numbers) and a surprisingly excellent depiction of War Machine, a character I feared could have come across as silly.

As with the first Iron Man, the acting is also a definite strong point, with Robert Downey Jr somehow making Tony Stark both a massive jerk but also strangely likeable, and Gwyneth Paltrow putting in a career-best performance as the constantly exasperated Pepper Potts. Sam Rockwell was also exceptionally loathsome as Justin Hammer, and played brilliantly off Downey Jr and Rourke, whom he shares most of his scenes with. The rest of the cast performed admirably too, with Don Cheadle especially stepping  into the role of Rhodey seamlessly. That said, I really don’t like Agent Coulson, and I’m not entirely sure whether or not I’m meant to…

In summary then, Iron Man 2 is a lot of fun once it gets going, but could have done with a lot of fine-tuning, especially around the middle, and certainly didn’t improve on the original in any great respect.

That post-credits teaser was awesome, though.

- Ian

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So, on Saturday night, after a little bit of whiskey, I decided to watch the new DC animated movie Justice League – Crisis on Two Earths and live-blog the experience.

I was quite excited about this movie since it was loosely based on Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely’s Earth 2, and I have something of an affection for the Justice League in animation due to my irrational and unconditional love for the Justice League Unlimited TV series from a few years back.

That said, the DC animated movies have been a mixed bag for me; I absolutely loved the Justice League – The New Frontier movie and Green Lantern – First Flight was a lot of fun, but Superman/Batman – Public Enemies and Batman – Gotham Night were thoroughly average. Therefore, I was cautiously optimistic about how this would turn out.

Without further ado, take it away Twitter me!

0:50 – I’m sorry, but anyone but Clancy Brown doing Lex Luthor’s voice is just wrong

2:30 – he he, ‘shiny bald head’

5:00 – these opening credits are quite nice

6:30 – why are Batman and J’onn watching a video of The Flash eating on a beach?

7:30 – NO NO NO! Only Kevin Conroy is Batman! Argh!

8:45 – Um, why is Lex naked?

9:20 – Since when can Supes see really far?

10:00 – J’onn looks wierd

13:00 – Evil Black Lightning looks funk-ay!

13:50 – Ha ha, Superman just got his arse kicked by a girl

16:00 – Is it just me, or does evil lantern lady look like Thor?

16:50 – Holy shit, Evil Batman just bataranged Superman IN THE FACE

18:30 – even when he’s evil, Batman rules

19:00 – wait.. is that… The Sinestro Corp?
(Note: it wasn’t)

22:00 – amazing that the ONE THING in the plane that breaks is the cloaking thing

22:30 – Christ, evil Flash’s accent is ludicrous

23:00 – He he, half of the evil JLA half New Yoyk accents

23:45 – It seems that Owlman has a hologram zapper for all situations

25:00 – So…Harley Quinn in the evil universe is a monkey? This makes me feel dirty

26:00 – Wow, Superman is a bit of a jerk to Not-Evil Luthor

27:30 – Hey! Evil Lobo!

28:00 – Evil Green Arrow apparently has no aim

29:30 – That was pretty baddass, Diana

30:45 – Evil GL looks METAL

31:00 – Evil super-strong Jimmy Olson? hahahahahahahaha!!!!

32:30 – “The baddest of the bad” – Ultraman is so 90s

33:00 – Cos, y’see, Ultraman is still vulnerable to Kryptonite, except in this world it’s BLUE!

34:00 – The President has an eyepatch and a goatee? AWESOME

34:30 – Superman is the President’s bitch

35:45 – Wow, Superman is a bit of a jerk in this movie

37:30 – Wow, Owlman’s view of the multiverse is really fatalistic…

39:30 – “I will nuke you” – that’s the kind of attitude you need from a world leader (cough)

40:30 – “Potential intruder alert” – The Watchtower’s security systems are pretty laid-back

41:00 – Dammit, for a second I thought Batman was going to say “Get away from her you bitch”

41:30 – BATMAN IS AWESOME

42:00 – I demand a series devoted entirely to Batman and his robot suit!

42:30 – HO.LY.SHIT. I have never been more psyched to Aquaman and Firestorm. That was awesome

42:30 – “Careful Aquaman, they’re stronger than you are!” Isn’t everyone?

43:00 – I didn’t know Firestorm could melt floors…?

43:30 – Black Canary ftw

45:00 – Get in there Bats!

47:45 – so, the universe transporter thing has a scramble function?

50:00 – Not laughing at the “blowing us off” comment. Definitely not. No.

51:30 – J’onn should know that copping off with a human is a Bad Idea

52:30 – Starro? Awesome!

54:00 – Wonder Woman has the best solution to any problem

54:00 – I take it all back, Evil Flash calling Evil Batman a “miserable git” is the ballsiest thing ever.

56:45 – I suppose it wouldn’t quite be a JLA story if GL didn’t make a boxing glove at some point

57:00 – Wonder Woman is apparently a WWE fan

59:00 – I’m prepared to guess Earth Prime is “our” Earth
(Note: Again, it wasn’t. I was apparently wrong about most things while watching this film).

1:00:00 – Urgh, the evil JLA are good now?

1:02:00 – Bats REALLY should have asked for backup before he did that…

1:03:00 – Owlman has a Spider-Man symbol on his crotch?!?

1:06:00 – Batman put a bomb on Owlman’s face. I. LOVE. BATMAN.

1:06:45 – Holy Christ Batman, that’s pretty cold hearted…

1:07:20 – “It doesn’t matter” may be the coolest Last Words ever

1:08:30 – Aw, I’m sad now… “Good one mate”

1:09:30 – J’onn rocks as always

1:11:00 – “With my luck, she’ll be evil”. I know how you feel, mate

1:12:00 – “Membership drive” – ok, that’s pretty awesome.

- Meh. That was OK, but not great. Nowhere near the awesomeness of the New Frontier movie

- Cool tune over the ending credits though

- That was pretty fun, might do it again soon

I’ve since read online (so it must be true!) that the movie was originally written to bridge seasons two and three of the Justice League cartoon, with season three being the point at which the show became Justice League Unlimited with the vastly expanded cast and less focus on the “big seven”. Though I enjoyed the movie in general, I do think that I might have enjoyed it more if it had been presented this way rather than as a stand-alone movie; it felt to me that it never quite reached the epic sale it was aiming for.

That said, the animation was nice, and there are certainly worse ways to spend 75 minutes.

So that was my Saturday night. Cool aren’t I?

- Ian

So anyway, comic-related happenings!

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The second trailer for Iron Man 2 is out, and it’s all very nice, until the ending… which may be the greatest ten seconds ever committed to film;

I truly, truly hope they leave the Black Sabbath song in this scene.

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Staying with trailers for a moment, the first trailer for Scott Pilgrim vs the World was released this week, to much internet rejoicing.

I’ve enjoyed the books, but I can’t help but be a little concerned that this movie is going to turn into one of those annoyingly smug hipster icons like, say, Juno, not least because of the presence of that annoying bundle of neuroses, Michael Cera.

My irrational dislike of The Kid From Juno aside, the trailer is visually awesome, and Edgar Wright more than earned my unquestioning devotion with the imaginary gun fight in Spaced.

(And Mary Elizabeth Winstead is purdy).

I’m prepared to give this a chance.

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I’ve just finished reading 52. It was quite good, but I can’t think of anything particularly insightful to say about it.

Renee Montoya kicks ass, however.

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Luke Cage hugging Steve Rogers in New Avengers was adorable.

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If you’re not already, you need to be reading Axe Cop, the best webcomic ever, written by a six year old kid and illustrated by his 29 year old brother

I shouldn’t have to explain it, it’s every bit as awesome as it sounds.

Seriously, stop reading my rubbish and go over there now, ‘kay?

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That’s all I can think to write about right now, hopefully more soon!

- Ian